Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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