Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
