Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just cut my nipple shaving
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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