i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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