I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This is my gift to your gina
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
