that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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