I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize