brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
