I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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