i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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