Are we in a gay sports bar?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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