hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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