I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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