I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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