There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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