And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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