i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
