one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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