he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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