Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
