Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
