Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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