is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
