The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
