I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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