Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
