My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
