Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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