i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
