Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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