The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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