she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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