Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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