His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
