they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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