My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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