So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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