I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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