If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
