my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
