Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
