This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
