you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
