it wasn't lemon gatorade
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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