dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize