it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
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Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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