garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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