Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
