I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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