Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
