so that wasnt chicken after all
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Holy shit dude........stairs
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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