the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
