I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
