Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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