I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
