Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
