how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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