Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
