whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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