How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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