No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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