You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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