He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
