I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
