Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
