I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
